Carl's Jr's table tent #78, the value of friendships, and how to love the homeless

Written by Rich Park | 13 January 2010
Posted in Blogs - Richard Park

His name is Steve - or at least that's what he said. After a meeting with a colleague, as I was exiting the restaurant, Steve came up to me and asked if I could spare him some money. The thing is: Since my time at Berkeley, where there is a rather large population of homeless people, I had to begin making for myself some sort of policy - If I didn't have the time to buy the person a meal, then I would not just give him a monetary handout. So every time I was leaving or going to class, heading to a friend's place, or just wandering the streets, when I saw a homeless person who asked for spare change, I would either buy him or her a meal and attempt to begin a friendship or stick to my policy.

Well, (for better or worse), Steve was the first homeless person I had met since my college days wherein I had sufficient time to stop and talk (as opposed to those who just come up to your window while you're stopped at a traffic like or something). And so, I stuck with the policy I had and so offered him a meal. We walked across the way to Carl's Jr's, and shared a meal, a story, and the beginnings of what looked to be a promising friendship - all having started with our first meal: table tent #78 at Carl's Jr's.

There were laughs, misunderstanding, mumblings, learning (on both sides, from what I could tell), and even some tears. Steve and I were not too different after all. Both made in the image of God; both fallen. And this friendship continued on for a few weeks. We were growing in care and respect for one another. I was (re)learning things about life that I should never forget: how it is sometimes unfair and at times nearly unbearable, that parents deeply impact the formation of our souls, that belonging is so important to becoming, that love is the breath that makes life possible.

But then, it happened: In one fell swoop, I both broke my own policy and terminated our friendship - I gave him money. Well, not really money - let me explain. After a couple meetings, Steve seemed to be thoroughly content and indeed joyful about our meetings times and shared meals and mutual friendship and so forth. Then, he brought up some monetary issues he was having and then cut to the quick by asking me for money - just enough to get by until his 'government check' would come in the mail. He promised he'd pay me back as soon as the check came in. Being compassionate yet trying to avoid naivete, I was able to reason with him that a gift card to Carl's Jr's would be no different than actual cash - if it were really just a budget problem he was facing. He conceded the point; I bought him a gift card; and we parted ways until the next time that we had agreed upon to meet - or so I thought.

I even said to him: 'Steve, even if by the next time we meet you don't have the money to pay me back, I still want to meet. I don't want money to become an issue between us.' I asked him several times if he knew what I meant and that I really meant it; he said he did. Sure enough, the next time we were supposed to meet, we didn't. And all at once, my policy and my friend were gone - and one because of the other.

The homeless are a huge issue in America and across the world. There are millions of people, many of whom are children, who are becoming without belonging. They are people who need to be loved just like you and I experience love. They know nothing of coming home to a warm meal and heart; nothing of reading a blog on the internet; nothing of what we all just experienced - the holiday joy that comes each year. And while a meal at a fast food restaurant - and with just one homeless person, at that - isn't going to suffice as a global solution; perhaps these thoughts here of friendship and food, homelessness and (lack of) happiness, Carl's and caring might so stir your soul and mine to think of more creative, effective, loving and biblically faithful ways to love and live for the poor, homeless, orphans, and widows (the invisible homeless) - since this is true religion (Ja 1.27).

One group who has found just one way to fight this fight is Hillsong: http://bit.ly/rbMl5

May the Lord use this video, blog, and story to create 10,000 more besides.

Your brother,

Rich